Más corto que peo en chinchorro.

Translation: Shorter than a fart in a hammock, meaning it’s really short or doesn’t linger.

Example: The wait in line for tacos was shorter than a fart in a hammock, which was great because I was soooo hungry!

El que tiene rabo de paja no debe acercarse al fuego.

Translation: Someone with a straw tail shouldn’t come near fire, meaning don’t be critical of others if you have the same problem (similar to “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”).


Paul: I don’t understand how Felipe can eat so many donuts.

Roberto: Need I remind you that you ate six donuts in ten minutes last week! Someone with a straw tail shouldn’t come near fire.

Note: This saying isn’t animal specific, so I chose foxes because 1. I haven’t done any yet, and 2. it’s a nod to The Fantastic Mr. Fox, where Foxy loses his tail to the farmers and has a fake one tied to him instead for a bit.







Se le cayó la cedula.

Translation: You dropped your license, meaning you revealed your age.

Example: The other day I mentioned I was older than stuffed crust pizza, which made my friends’ eyes go wide. I dropped my license, what a way to accidentally reveal my age!

More than “license”, it should be “ID”

"Driving ID" doesn’t sound good for me, it is a "driving license".

Driving ID? Where did you get that idea? “Cédula” is better translated as ID, because it’s a different thing from the driving license

You can see the “Driving License” in the image.

I know that. The artist chose to translate it to “driving license” but in spanish it says “cédula”, that it’s better translated as “ID”. It’s too hard to understand?
Most americans use their driving license as ID (but aren’t the same), I guess that’s the reason behind the artist’s choice.

In the US, your license *is* your ID in almost all cases—very few have passports, there’s no national ID, and not many people get just a state ID instead of a license. This is actually why the controversy over photo ID restrictions on voting is such an issue—for the elderly (as an example), they don’t drive anymore and therefore don’t have current photo IDs handy in many cases (my grandmother was one of those). So, for us, your license is your ID in almost any situation—you can’t show another ID unless it’s a passport as proof of who you are in most cases (like if you’re trying to apply for something), and it shows your age. It’s definitely the best equivalent to a cédula.

Also, for those teens who got fake IDs (not me!), it was a license, not state ID—it’s kind of odd to not get a license here, unless I guess if you live in NYC or a place where driving is completely unnecessary (so…NYC). I’ve actually never met someone who didn’t have a driver’s license and only the ID, they’re just so synonymous! But I’ve seen my husband’s Venezuelan ID, so I know about them…consider it part of the translation, much like translating “batea” to an actual washing machine instead of the washing board :)

No quiero llegar a freír tequeños.

Translation: I don’t want to get there to fry tequeños, meaning I don’t want to be the first one at a party.

Example: Scott says he doesn’t want to get there to fry tequeños because no one should be at a party right when it starts.

Note: Tequeños, for those of you non-Venezuelans, are kind of like mozzarella sticks but like manna from heaven better—they’re wrapped in sorta empanada dough instead of breaded, and the cheese is a bit different, and while you can have dipping sauce, you don’t really need it. They’re incredibly common at weddings, parties, etc. and I actually had some for my birthday this past weekend! (YUM)

Also, my husband explained that this saying refers to the only people arriving early to a party, ie catering staff, hence why you’d be frying the in the first place.

Más blanco que una cucaracha de panadería.

Translation: Whiter than a bakery’s cockroach, meaning someone/something is very white.

Example: Henry’s friends used to tease him about being whiter than a bakery’s cockroach, despite his parents being tanned.

Note: The example had the words switched, and once again my husband not only failed to notice it when I had him look for content, now he is laughing and making up a story of what a cockroach’s bakery would be like and thinks he is the funniest ever. Also just said “I crack myself up.” So! For those of you who saw it earlier…oopsie :)

Programming Note

Hi all!

Once again, many thanks for all your comments, reblogs, favorites, suggestions, etc.—I appreciate all of it :)

So I figured I’d probably have to do this, but I’ll most likely be posting only twice a week for the foreseeable future, Mondays and Thursdays. Part of it is because I need to conserve dichos so I have enough to continue the blog for awhile (send me more!), but the other part is that things have gotten very busy for me lately, including me needing to start working on my annual anniversary/birthday gift for my husband. Every year, I create a mini comic/graphic novel of what we did the past year. We started dating on his birthday, and while our wedding anniversary is a different day, The Book (as it’s called) is still completed and given for his birthday/our original anniversary.

This will be the 8th year of us being together and technically the 9th installment—he got a mini one the first Xmas together, which is how it all began and why I stopped buying him things because he was so touched and sentimental about it, I decided why spend money when I can just make a book….except that totally backfired because the past few years, we have had so many adventures that a 20 page book once a year has turned into a 50-90 page behemoth. Since I usually wait until the month before the anniversary to start, it means that my life is consumed with rushing through drawing the pages, inking, and then coloring them in, which turns into me cursing why I was cheap and couldn’t have just gotten him sweaters and ties like a normal person.

Let that be a lesson to you: lazy romantic gestures turn quickly into far more trouble than you had planned. Really though, The Book is a lot of fun and a great way to remember years past…here’s a sample image of when we were wedding planning about 4 years ago (yes, my husband was a complete groomzilla and that is why he is drawn as one, and yes yes I wanted to elope but Venezuelans don’t elope they want WEDDINGS and there’s no getting out of it no matter what logic you try):


Speaking of romantic, my husband is super cuddly and likes hugging while sleeping while I want him farrrr away, hence this page:


In any case, I’ll still be working on the blog, but dropping a post a week will hopefully help me keep up with this project, as well as several others I have going on, such as new paintings, an annual guinea pig calendar I design, build sets for, and shoot, and so on. I still want to do parasite week, which would be more than two posts….once the anniversary is done, I might go back to a regular schedule again.

(Oh, would you like to see how cute our children are, aka the guinea pigs, for their annual calendar? Yes I will show you, they were even featured on Buzzfeed! I keep meaning to make a Tumblr for them only, but…time):


(this is our sole girl pig Miles who likes long drives through the desert and generally being the world’s most spoiled pig)


(yes I paint the backdrops and yes that is a guinea pig version of the famous Nike statue and this was 2014’s March because the Ides of March and yeah how can you say no to that?? this is Sawyer and Linus and yes we did name all our guinea pigs after Lost characters)


(this is Charlie, our oldest pig at a strong 6 years old, who is also my husband’s baby, and who enjoys differential equations and generally being a cranky old man)

Me van a rasguñar la arepa.

Translation: They’ll scratch my arepa, meaning someone is flirting with my partner.

Example: Cristianio was leaning awfully close to Ava—he’ll scratch my arepa!

Note: My husband went to bed before I could start on this sucker, soooo hopefully it’s a good example/correct language. I did wake him up to ask him, but he was kind of asleep and possibly indignant at being woken up for this :)

Hijo de gato, caza ratón.

Translation: Cat’s son, chases mice, meaning like father, like son.

Example: Nacho talks with his hands just like his dad—cat’s son, chases mice.

Note: This is a variation of the “from such a stick, such a splinter.”

Qué caimán.

Translation: What an alligator, meaning someone who either uses brute strength and doesn’t hold back, or someone who is not gentle or delicate.

Example: That knee from Zuñiga to Neymar’s back…what an alligator!

Ps. Goodbye World Cup, back to having a life again :)

Estás gastando pólvora en zamuro.

Translation: You’re wasting gunpowder on vultures, meaning you’re wasting your efforts on a situation that won’t change or isn’t worth it.

Example: Arguing with people who believe in controlling women’s bodies can feel like you’re wasting gunpowder on vultures, especially since they refuse to consider any perspective but their own.

*Note: This is one of my favorite sayings and something I’ve encountered depressingly often lately :/